Abagail Grey

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman......

Tammy Wynette I hear you.

I’ve felt tired, fat, lethargic, guilty, conflicted, short tempered, lacking in concentration, hungry and futile. All this weighed down by a heavy and inexplicable feeling of sadness. Yesterday I managed to keep functioning and achieving on a basic level, this morning I tried but words were missing from emails and things just wouldn’t stick to my brain as they normally do. I felt freezing with a fuzzy head, when I walked my legs were heavy, by 11am I was in a cold sweat and could do nothing but lie still on the couch and close my eyes.

What an affliction, and it happens once a month, how can I ever be consistent? - does every woman have to go through this regular personality transformation?

I still think ‘What’s going on? – Why do I feel so sad and tired? Is there something seriously wrong with me? Am I dyeing? Maybe I’m getting the flu? ’………. You’d think I’d know by now……..

It’s a massive waste of time.

Come on scientific inventor doctor medical types……….find a cure for PMS…..it’s important.

At least it’s over for this month, a spoonful of calpol and off to bed, hot water bottle in hand.

 

 

 

Less stuff, more happiness

This make sense.........

http://www.ted.com/talks/graham_hill_less_stuff_more_happiness.html

Life is good.....

Two of my friends are convinced that the infrastructure of society as we know it will collapse within the next five years and we will regress, living like wolves, fighting for survival and stealing from one another - violence and chaos will prevail. The land will no-longer be owned by individual people. The people who fight the hardest and work the land the best will survive. One of these two friends is so convinced of this that she has gone on a training course for basic survival skills to ensure that she will be suitably equiped when the time comes. 

This morning listening to radio 4 I heard that a geomagnetic storm or solar storm in space could severely damage the national grid causing longterm blackout resulting in the total collapse of society as we know it. A neclear weapon detonated in the sky creating a strong electromagnetic pulse would have the same effect.

I'm sitting in a coffee shop right now enjoying a latte, taking full advantage of the free wifi and wondering where my motivations will take me next. I realise that things are vulnerable, but sitting here in the comfort and warmth I feel no fear - I just think - 'that's never gonna happen', maybe I'm wrong but it's what my mind prefers. Life is good right now, everything could change in an instant, but right now, at this moment, things are good. 

Notepad

Black bendy cover, no lines, approximately A5 size with a piece of black elastic which would stretch from the back cover over the front cover making sure it stayed closed. I imagined myself writing stuff down then closing the notebook and placing the elastic over the front cover – I could hear it snap with a sense of accomplishment and finality. I could feel the bendiness in my hand. I could see myself at meetings, taking the book from my pocket, removing the elastic and jotting down some piece of relevant information. I planned to put to do lists at the front and creative thoughts at the back and eventually they would all meet in the middle and I would then fill up the other spaces until every morsel of blank page had something on it, then I would buy another notebook and eventually I would have a collection. As I walked through the wind toward WH Smith my excitement grew. I knew this notebook would enhance my life.

Here’s what happened. I went straight to the stationary department, all the notebooks had lines, the only item that seemed remotely close was an A5 refill pad but really it was less than satisfactory. I located a lady with a badge and told her what I was after and she said – “Ah, try the fashion stationary section downstairs”. So I ventured, full of hope, and there it was, the perfect notebook. Full of glee I picked it up, I held it in my hand – it was beautiful, small, ordinary and exactly what I had in mind. Then the shock, this very small ordinary notepad was expensive, probably 3 times what I would be willing to pay for such an item. I stood flummoxed for about five minutes, biting my lip and frowning. I picked it up, put it down, picked it up, put it down and then I walked out of the shop with the A5 refill pad.

I fear I made the wrong decision……………

 

The Send Button

For people like me the send button should be protected by a code or a complex puzzle. It should be hidden, there should be something in place to ensure that thoughts have been properly processed, a system sensitive to spontaneous impulsive urges that are almost always far from sensible…………………the send button should have a human quality, it should say ‘No…………wait until morning and then decide’. 

Today I curse the send button and myself for misusing it!!

 

Water and Kite Flying

I had wanted to fly a kite, to lift the melancholy, to feel the cold air, colour and force. We live in a windy place but as we drove to our kite flying destination we noticed that the trees were still. We arrived to find flat calm veiled by a dank mist and thick precipitous cloud. No wind, not even a light breeze, just dead cold damp calm.

The loch was completely frozen over; it was so still and beautiful. I had my video camera, things felt right. Sometimes the brain just needs a bit of space and light and the lungs need a bit of true clean air. Emily and Oscar danced and I sang  - we decided to try to make a music video, well at least haphazardly try– there was no plan, only amazing scenery, little visibility and very enthusiastic participants.

Here it is: Water by Abagail Grey

This song will be released as part of the next batch....................................

 

 

Memory made......

The city graveyard is a large mound / small hill, and, judging by the symmetry and perfection of its shape, I would say it’s a man-made.

We ran through an area called The Islands, a park with big old trees, bridges and estuaries shooting from the expansive fast flowing river. It’s a beautiful place, especially at that time in the morning, the sky was a luminous stoney grey, almost blue, it promised cold and rain and wind and we were lucky enough to be there while it was soft and still like a wild animal slowly stirring after a long restful sleep.

It was 7am, we had a little bag containing three nectarines (one each) and some oatcakes, we hoped to see the sunrise.

Our cheeks were flushed and our bodies were warm despite the ice underfoot. Our bellies were full of laughter and sometimes when the laughter took over, we’d have to stop and let it all out.   We talked of Sonja and her ability to perfectly impersonate 80’s power ballads and how she should have kept her job at the Curry Karaoke bar becoming a Nordic karaoke queen. We wondered why she had paid a tenner to watch a girl dressed like Madonna (silver outfit with cone bra) scratch a balloon into a microphone – I can’t imagine a more terrible noise.

When we got to the gates of the graveyard they were locked, a man in a van and an orange boiler suit came along with a key. He told us to watch out for the ice on the path.

We ran to the top, took some photos, ran back down, bought some doughnuts.

THE END

 

 

Rachel Sermanni

In April last year I found myself in Los Angeles. Abagail Grey - who, at that time, were a five piece band had been invited to play at an event called Musexpo, it was very exciting, as new adventure always is. We rented an apartment in Hollywood not far from the W Hotel where the smoozing event was to take place. A fellow highlander Rachel Sermanni was going to be staying with us, we'd only met briefly, once before, in the past. 

On day one Rachel and I hunted for porridge, we found a supermarket close to the house. Porridge is very important and surprisingly difficult to find in a LA supermarket - they have many variations: porridge with maple syrup, caramel porridge, instant porridge - the list is endless.  We just wanteed plain old bruised oat with nothing added, this was more difficult and it took time. Rachel persevered and eventually we found what we were looking. 

On day two we set off for the W hotel, this involved walking a short distance, people tend not to walk in LA so the streets are very quiet. It was hot out, the sun was beating down, I was wearing shorts, T-shirt and sandals (new sandals). We were chatting away about this and that when suddenly she shouted 'STOP'. My whole body froze, I looked down, and there it was, the biggest dog poo in the world ever and I was about to put my scantily clad foot right in it. Rachel - I am forever grateful. 

Apart from being an eater of porridge, a dog poo alarm and a warm, honest and genuinely lovely human being, Rachel is a singer songwriter of the highest order. She's doing some shows at the moment and releasing an EP...............click on her name to find out more, this young talent is definitely worth supporting.